Everything, everything.

Have you ever just felt completely content? An old friend used to tell me all the time that he preferred the word “content” over “great” because it felt real, whereas great, felt like something you would always be working to achieve, but content comes with a calming peace. Ever since then I’ve cherished every moment where I have felt content, because like everything in life, its bound to change.

This evening I was lucky enough to be invited to an advance screening of the movie, Everything, Everything and it changed… well.. everything. Lately I have felt as though I’m in a rut, I got stuck in auto pilot and even though things were changing around me and nothing really felt wrong, I knew something wasn’t right. I am not a girl who goes looking to other people for answers to her problems. In fact, I am a girl who hates asking where the dish-soap is in a supermarket and because I didn’t want to admit I was lost, I once directed my aunt and uncle into another province instead of just saying I didn’t know where I was going. I’m stubborn, I know this, I embrace this far too much and I’m slowly trying to let it go. Back to tonight, tonight was a big step for me out of my comfort zone and it pushed me out my rut. I went to the screening alone because while I love sitting at home alone, I’ve never tried seeing a movie alone. Also, I have very few friends. Just saying. I have to tell you, I was nervous, I don’t even know why! Before I left the house I had two glasses of wine and I got to the theater and the movie started playing and all that built up anxiety I created in my head just went away. All the sudden I wasn’t afraid of what people thought of me, I wasn’t embarrassed that I was at this romantic movie alone, I just was there. I was enjoying every second of the movie so much I forgot to be scared.

Everything, Everything is about a young girl, Maddy, played by the ever enchanting, Amandla Stenberg, who is incredibly sick and trapped insider her home for her entire life, until she meets Olly, portrayed by my dream man, Nick Robinson  (shout out Jurassic World). They bring out the best in each other because they help to make each other brave. This movie is about so much more than love though, it’s about living your best life, its about being true to what you know is right in the world and realizing that sometimes you do need to put yourself first and you do need to take a risk to find greatness. It may sound cheesy that this movie changed so much for me, but I’m all about that cheese. I left the movie, I walked home, I stopped and took photos on my walk, I listened to music, I was in no rush, I got chips and guacamole, I was content. This was the first time in a long time I wouldn’t have changed a thing.

I can’t tell you what shifted inside me or what brought on the overwhelming happiness and comfort relating to the world around me but I can tell you that if it takes me stepping out of my comfort zone every day for the next 20 years to recreate that feeling, I will be doing it. I will be terrified and I will try to avoid it some days but I will live the life that I want to live and I won’t let my fears hold me back, I will experience everything.

The movie, Everything, Everything is out across North America Tomorrow May 18th. Go see it and let me know what you think!

xx your gal, AL

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