In grade 7 myself and a few girls were talking about what we wanted to be when we grew up and when it was my turn, I said “I want to be a singer and song writer.” They all laughed. I couldn’t understand what was so funny about it, one girl wanted to be a professional soccer player, one just wanted to travel the world and another one said she wanted to be a famous singer too, so why was I the only one laughed at? My little self couldn’t comprehend why if I didn’t laugh at any of their dreams why they would think its okay to laugh at mine? So I came home and I did what any self-respecting 12-year-old would do, I asked google. Now I know what you’re thinking, why wouldn’t you just ask your mom or your dads, but in grade 7 my mom wasn’t in a great place and due to that we weren’t in a great place with my dads either. Therefore I didn’t have anyone telling me not to trust everything you read online, thus I was thrust into the world of online chatrooms, emailing strangers and Nexopia without supervision or guidance. Thankfully I only almost got abducted twice and successfully managed to infect the computer with numerous viruses that I blamed on my brothers porn addiction.*
Now, keep in mind I was pretty young, I didn’t have the skills that I do now with search engines, so as one does I typed in, what is wrong with me? After crying for about 20 minutes under the belief that certain death was coming my way I figured I should maybe be a bit more specific. Why are my friends laughing at me? was next in the google and believe it or not, some really helpful information came up. I quickly realized they weren’t my real friends and was bombarded with websites telling me that they’re jealous of me and/or intimidated by me. To paint you a pretty picture, 12-year-old me looked like a chubby boy and I had either jet black hair or yellow highlighter blonde.. They weren’t jealous and they weren’t intimated, they were just mean. This was the first time I can remember reading that I was this great person, even though whomever wrote the article had never met me. I was a bit of a closet cynic back then, actually still am, so all I could think was, who is this “Sandra” person who thinks I’m special and unique and I can do anything I want to do? I obviously can’t do anything I want to do or I would be on tour with Hillary Duff instead of wasting why time trying to figure out whats wrong with me? god Sandra!
People say all the time that millennials are the worst generation, but did you guys forget who raised us? I mean come on, most millenials hate millenials. We don’t want to be in crippling debt because we went to college to major in art because you said we could do anything and we begrudgingly believed you. Sorry that I tend to assume people aren’t lying to me 24/7. We don’t want awards for participation, we didn’t ask for that, but its better than making your child feel like they aren’t enough because they didn’t come in first. Life is hard for all generations, for very different reasons, but you have to remember, each new generation was raised by the previous generation and that generation, our moms and dads, are just trying to make sure we have a better life then they did. Long story short, you can thank your grandma and grandpa for your effed up bank accounts and lack of self-confidence.*
I do think that we can learn something from all generations prior to us, honestly, I know we have a long way to go but I’m so proud of how most (albeit not all) people born between 1985 – 2005 are so welcoming of differences, they respect the LBGQT community and more and more people are feeling like they deserve to be alive in this world. There is still so much hate and anger in this world that needs to stop but I believe in choosing love and I honestly, in my core, know that my parents taught me that. No matter how much fighting was going on in our house or outside of it, they always loved me and if me believing that love can fix things makes me naive or stupid, that’s fine with me, because I would rather be a complete idiot then be an angry bastard. Any day.
Sometimes I do wish that I wasn’t told I was unique and could do anything I dreamed of when I was younger, because although its true and you really can do anything, there wasn’t enough empathise on how hard you need to work to achieve those dreams. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve always been a hard worker but I wasn’t given a choice or a carefree childhood, so bitterly, it frustrates me when I see children being told they can be anything and at the same time having everything handed to them. That is when I get nervous, in the real world you don’t get anything handed to you, you need to work hard and be a good person and maybe, just maybe, if you’re in the right place at the right time, your dreams can come true in the blink of an eye. For most of us, that isn’t the reality. The reality is sometimes dreams die and that breaks my heart, because no matter what happens in my life, part of me will always want to be a singer and song writer and that is what brings me joy; writing and sharing it with people. That is why I started a blog in the first place. Even if only one person reads this and relates to it, that’s all I need, thats my dream. To everyone reading this, please don’t let your dreams die. If you want to travel across the world, start now. If you’ve always dreamed of becoming a scientist but didn’t think you were smart enough, I promise you, you are. Honest to god, if you wanted to be a stripper but didn’t think you had the body for it, I am here telling you, you do, you go Glen Co-Co.* Whatever you do in life, as long as you do it with all your heart, you are doing the right thing. You are following your dreams. Its going to hard and sometimes and you’re going to want to quit but I promise you, I will be there with you, celebrating each day you got out of bed and took one more step closer to living your life.
Millennials are tired, scared, we literally all have crippling anxiety and we are fighting so hard to make this world a better place. Maybe cut us a little slack sometimes, we haven’t slept in 20 years and have been living off coffee and energy drinks for the past 8. We are genuinely worried about the bee’s and no matter what country we live in, we know electing Trump was a dumb, dumb idea. We are effed up, but we have good in our hearts, we just need a juice cleanse to set us straight. So let us take our selfies, post photos of our food every meal, let us have a moment to feel good about ourselves, it doesn’t happen as often as you think.
xx your gal, AL.
*he didn’t even have a porn addiction, he was a 13-year-old boy, it would’ve been more weird if he didn’t watch porn.
*No joke is funny if you have to explain its a joke, but I’m kidding, I love my grandparents.
*stripper may not have been the best example but dramatic effect people!