I’m constantly stuck between wanting to be incredibly sweet and wanting to be a complete bad ass. This is becoming more and more obvious in my day-to-day life. I tend to lean more towards being sweet, because it’s easier for me, but also I tend to get walked all over because of it, which makes me want to be BA. Quite unsurprisingly, I reach the other side of the spectrum and I’m an unapologetic bad ass, feeling myself, until I say something that I think is maybe a bit too far and, once again, I’ve flipped the switch completely. I’m riding a rollercoaster of emotion every single day. Who am I? Why am I? What am I? Where am I? When am I… going to get it together? This is what I’ve been thinking about while I’ve been away.
This blog is supposed to be sort of a diary for myself. I’m not writing it because I want to make money, obviously, if I was, I definitely wouldn’t take weeks off at a time. I’m writing it because it makes me feel more relaxed to have my thoughts down on internet paper and I love the idea of sharing them with other people whilst on their own terms. You don’t have to read this, you don’t have to share this, but for some reason I find comfort in knowing that someone else knows the thoughts inside my head. I want to apologize for being away, but I can’t. I’m not sorry that I was spending time with my family or that I started a new job. I’m not sorry that I’m trying to figure out who I am and that sometimes that involves spending a lot of time alone and not responding to text messages or speaking to other people. It’s not because I don’t care, but it’s because I like to have time to myself, I like to know I can be by myself and I like to eat whatever I want without having to worry about how I look while eating it, because it is not pretty, but it is fun.
I do want to write more and I do promise that I will. If you choose to follow along I would be so happy because I love hearing about other people, the things they love, the things they don’t and the thoughts they never share. Like, do you believe in aliens? ghosts? horoscopes? God? Fight Club? Global Warming? Anything at all. I want to hear it all and I will probably share everything I think with you, whether you ask about it or not, but also I do take requests, just don’t request that I stop, that’s mean.
Thank you for reading along with me, for being with me and for caring about me. I care about you all dearly. Talk soon.
xx your gal, AL.